Lost, Sad and my hero Thad

I’ve debated on writing about this since it’s personal but decided I would but not include all the details but just write all my emotions.

Yesterday should have been a wonderful and a happy day, a day of celebration but it was not. It was a day of sadness, heartbreak and selfish people.
It really shows you who is important to you and people who just don’t care. It’s family, you’d think that’d mean something but has definitely not.
I can’t even tell you how torn I am with family and how my husband and I were treated.

I wish those people knew how much they ruined that day of us and it was a once in a lifetime thing and honestly, NO ONE cared about it, about US.
No one would talk to me, gave me dirty looks, talked about me behind my back and so much more. Never thought I’d feel so alone surrounded but so much family.
I barely got any apologies and I couldn’t forgive and I still can’t. Not sure when I can let this go but definitely not anytime soon.
I hate that but if no one cared about us, I just can’t care about them.

 

The comment that made it all so much worse is that they would of rather had my husband there instead of me. 

 

I should have left right then and there, no one deserved what I was offering, no one but the person and the ONLY reason I came for.
No one asked me if I was coming to the after events, no one asked me anything.

Am I not family? Just because I married into this family, doesn’t that make me family? Why do I always feel like I don’t belong?

As much as this hurt, it really shows you who thinks you’re important and shows you who doesn’t deserve you in their life.
So I’ve decided to cut them out of my life, my family’s life. Selfish people don’t need to be in my already hard life.

I was so glad when I could finally leave. I went home and told my husband everything that happened.
He did text me in the middle of the event and told me just to leave and come home.
That I don’t need to be treated like this. Why didn’t I just listen to him?

After I was done telling him and bawling my eyes out, he hugged me and told me it was okay.
It felt good to feel loved after a whole day of hate.
I also grabbed a hug from all my kids and that’s all I needed. They are my world and no one offends me or my family without me being a mama bear.
That’s what I turned into today, big time.

Glad we could go to the Temple open house last night. Felt so good and I went with my little family and it was perfect.

As I sit here writing this, all those family members are together. So happy and probably not giving me or my family another thought.
I obviously am not going, how could I? No one even cared to send me a text or a call me to see if I was coming.
Just more reasons these people are selfish.

Those are my thoughts and feelings.
Thanks.

In With a Bang!

I figured it was about time to write Davy’s birth story! I feel like I’m already forgetting little details and so I need to jot it all down before I forget everything… (mom brain)

This story begins early in the morning of the 4th of July. Around 2 in the morning I woke up with contractions, they were random and not too bad but bad enough to keep me awake. After a few of these I figured I should get out of bed as to not disturb my husband or Xury with little moans of pain. So I go downstairs and turn on The Office. That was a pretty good distraction but still, I was in pain. I was really hoping they would go away since it was the 4th of July and we had so much planned for the day, I didn’t want to have to miss out. Unfortunately, it was looking like I wasn’t going to be apart of those events. I was feeling so sad because I wanted to have fun with my kids on this special day. So around 7 I called my mom and told her what was going on, and she was going to come get me and take me to the hospital. I got my kids all ready and dressed in their 4th clothes, said my goodbyes and we were off.

We got there around 8 (maybe? The times are all jumbled) and they had me get dressed in that lovely gown. They were going to check me to see what was happening. They checked me and I had dilated to only a 3! I was pretty upset because I was hoping for more but I had only been at a 1 the day before so, I guess that was good. They wanted me to walk around for an hour to see if I could get anything else going.  This was around 9am. That was not fun, walking was hard enough when I was super tired and then having to stop every 5 minutes (generally) to get through a contraction. Although, it didn’t seem like it was that long at all. My mom was timing me every time I had a contraction though and they weren’t consistent but they were feeling strong and were getting closer together. So after that hour, we get back in the room and the check me again. I was basically the same but was 100% effaced and they were talking about sending me home and let me tell you, I was NOT going home.

I was seriously upset and started bawling. I was in pain and going home would be torture. The nurse said she’d talk to the doctor and see what she thought.  They wanted me to walk around for another hour and I dreaded hearing that. I went because I wanted to get things going so I could stay but I was crying basically the whole time and the contractions were not helping me not cry either. Thankfully Thad got there about halfway through that hour and I just went into his arms and cried some more. We finished our hour and got checked again. This was probably around noon? Like I said, the times were all a blur once I got to the hospital. The doctor said I could stay and I was SO relieved. I wasn’t planning on getting an epidural because I was thinking this labor would be similar to Xury’s and would be quick but…I was wrong. So I got the epidural and I was feeling so much better and could relax. I had been so tense through that whole morning and it probably wasn’t helping my labor go along any faster.

I was able to take a nap and get some much needed rest because let me tell you, I was so exhausted from everything up to that point. The nurse and doctor came in to break my water and to mine and their surprise, it had broken by itself while I was sleeping! What a happy moment! They checked me again and I was at an 8! What an even happier moment! They said to let them know if I had felt any pressure or if I did. So they left and maybe 45 minutes they came back and said, “he’s right there, it’s time to have a baby!” That’s always a scary moment knowing you have to push and that the baby will be here!

They got everything ready and the doctor wanted me to do some practice pushes but I am a pro and the baby was actually coming! The doctor said “stop” because she didn’t have any of the gear on, was pretty funny actually. So she hurried and we got right down to pushing, apparently I only pushed through one contraction and he was here! (I had no tears or anything, I was so happy to hear that!)

 

Davy Knight Benedict.
Born 4:39pm. 7 lbs, 3 oz 20 inches.

 

He looked just like his sister! And had SO much hair!

We were so excited and happy he was finally here! Everyone joked that I would have him on the 4th and I just laughed at them. Guess I was totally wrong but that’s alright, he’ll always have a spectacular birthday. I will also promise him no red, white and blue cakes (unless he asks. I’ve heard from other people they always got that because of their birthday being on the 4th and they never liked it)

Daddy got another boy!

 

He also had very little jaundice and didn’t have to be treated for it. I felt so happy because as you know my other two both had it pretty bad and needed to get some sort of treatment. I was hoping and praying that he would be okay and not have it as bad. What a blessing it was indeed. We were able to go home that next day and I was so happy about that too. I wanted to be home, in my own bed and to be with my other kids.

We love having Davy here. He’s been such an amazing baby and we love love love him!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obligatory Introductions

Hello. Welcome to my blog. I’m so excited to have you apart of this journey with me! I want to dedicate this blog to fashion and things of that nature but I’m sure I will post about my family and life events! So let’s get to it!

Lauren-That’s me! I’m 25! I was born in Utah but been in Boise pretty much my whole life. This is my home and I love it so. After high school, I started going to school online through BYU-I where I obtained my business degree. It was such a wonderful experience and I’m so glad I was able to get my education done online while working and staying in my hometown. Of course, I married my husband sometime in that mix. About a year after I started we got married in August 2011. I finished school and got pregnant towards the end. Was a very hard time because I was so sick and was a challenge to get my assignments done but my professors were understanding and I was able to finish! Some days I want to go back to school but then some days I don’t. So we’ll see what happens! I currently work at Just for Kids and I love it! (most days)

Things I like: sewing, crafts, netflix, movies, Dr Pepper, being with my family, having my nails done, Target, mini golf, being lazy, tennis, my kids, fashion and shoes!

I have 2 kids going on 3, but I will talk about them later.

Thad-is my husband! Let’s just say he’s getting close to 30 but not quite there yet. We met at our singles ward. Our first date was playing tennis and the rest is history. He went to Boise State and is now going to CWI. He’s work at UPS our whole married life. He’s a very sporty guy, always up for anything and just a real great guy.

Ari-Is my 2 year old daughter. She is so full of love and energy! She can count to 10, sing some songs and is getting ready to be speaking a lot more words! Knows some letters and shapes. I love seeing her grow everyday.

Xury-is my 1 year old son. He loves following his sister around! He loves eating food and is just like his father in that way. Hasn’t said any real words yet but I know they’re coming! Can’t wait to see him become a big brother!

Baby #3 is coming in July! Adding another sweet boy to the family!